Monday, October 18, 2004
Sometimes life just sucks...
Man.. what a bad day today. I think I'm just fried... With my grandfather in the hospital for a week or so, we tried to take care of my grandmother, but because of the troubles with her mind and body, it just wasn't possible. My aunt's mother (and her mother) were able to take care of her last night, but they couldn't manage another night either, and everyone else was too far away to get here in time. So we scrambled around and now she's being watched over in the ER tonight, with finding a (hopefully temp) nursing home for her tomorrow.
Just been such a rollercoaster. After the experience of the first two nights, I think Mom was literally in shock yesterday. Thank goodness we didn't have to do last night or who knows what would have happened. So today was waiting at the hospitol for like three hours (lots of emergancies and obviously those have to go first) under false pretenses. Then the revealing of what was really going on and her actually being very lucid and saying it was ok. We were just so worried that she wouldn't know what was going on or be totally angry and betrayed. In some ways it almost felt worse that she was doing so well in that you start to have self-doubt. If only she was like that all the time, we would be able to manage...
In the end we were there almost 6 hours... I hope it can all work out in the end, but it is just hard to see someone you care about like that, and even more so for Mom since she's her mother. But it has to be worst of all for my grandmother. She has trouble talking most of the time (finding the words to express herself), can't really read anymore, etc. So even when she is lucid, there isn't much she can actually do, and she knows enough to know that there are other times when she isn't well. What kind of existance is that to be stuck in?
Oh well, I guess some things in life are just pretty messed up at times. I should try to get to sleep I guess.. I need to try to get to work tomorrow. I just feel pretty numb right now...
Just been such a rollercoaster. After the experience of the first two nights, I think Mom was literally in shock yesterday. Thank goodness we didn't have to do last night or who knows what would have happened. So today was waiting at the hospitol for like three hours (lots of emergancies and obviously those have to go first) under false pretenses. Then the revealing of what was really going on and her actually being very lucid and saying it was ok. We were just so worried that she wouldn't know what was going on or be totally angry and betrayed. In some ways it almost felt worse that she was doing so well in that you start to have self-doubt. If only she was like that all the time, we would be able to manage...
In the end we were there almost 6 hours... I hope it can all work out in the end, but it is just hard to see someone you care about like that, and even more so for Mom since she's her mother. But it has to be worst of all for my grandmother. She has trouble talking most of the time (finding the words to express herself), can't really read anymore, etc. So even when she is lucid, there isn't much she can actually do, and she knows enough to know that there are other times when she isn't well. What kind of existance is that to be stuck in?
Oh well, I guess some things in life are just pretty messed up at times. I should try to get to sleep I guess.. I need to try to get to work tomorrow. I just feel pretty numb right now...
